7 Things the Books Don't Tell You about Being Pregnant (cont'd)

4. You’ll look better naked.

This was definitely a surprise. To be honest, I think it has less to do with the wonder of my feminine form and more to do with the comical Humpty-Dumpty effect of maternity pants. But for the first time in my life, I actually prefer to be au naturel when presenting myself to the full-length mirror in the morning. Watching the curves grow more pronounced and taut is just mesmerizing to me.

5. Sleep will be a brand new thrill.

There are a lot of reasons for this. First, if you get the first trimester sleepies as I did, the better part of your day will be spent daydreaming about high-thread count sheets and closed blinds. Second, when insomnia sets in, you will lie there at 3:36 a.m. wondering how you ever took precious sleep for granted. Third, and perhaps most important, your dreams will take on totally new proportions. Something in the cocktail of pregnancy hormones makes you not only have the most bizarre dreams of your life, it also makes them so incredibly vivid that you wake up more than a little rattled. I solved a murder, dined with Kim Jong Il, danced in an animated feature and caught up with some middle-school friends—all while sound asleep.

6. Navel-gazing will become a serious hobby.

I knew that feeling the first kicks would be an unprecedented thrill. But no one prepared me for seeing them! One night on the couch, as my little one pummeled me from the inside, I pulled up my shirt and saw one good punch move my belly button. From then on, it has been a nightly ritual to bare my belly and watch it shake and shimmy like a sack full of wild monkeys.

7. You’ll feel yourself becoming one of those women.

A year ago, I could barely stifle a yawn when women around me began chatting about nursing bras, sleep schedules and play dates. Now that motherhood is imminent, I hear myself starting to prattle on about every single one of those things. On my coffee table, issues of Glamour are slowly being replaced by stacks of Family Circle and Parenting. At Target, I amble right past the cute purses to peruse the onesies. By this time next year, I will see a list of the Top 10 pop songs and not recognize a single one—but I will know the name and address of every local children’s consignment store!

Lia Tremblay, a freelance writer and editor, is expecting her first child this spring. She lives in Virginia with her handsome husband and a very bad dog.